Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead. -- Miss Piggy

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Sam Levinson

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them. -- Gracie Allen

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. -- Erma Bombeck

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. -- Joe E. Lewis

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. -- Woody Allen

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. -- Fran Lebowitz

Health food makes me sick. -- Calvin Trillin

Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. -- Enrico Caruso

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get. -- Robert Orben