The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. Caller : I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator : I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off. * * * Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator : Woven? Are you sure? Caller : Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland. * * * Caller : I'd like the RSPCA please. Operator : Where are you calling from? Caller : The living room * * * Caller : The water board please. Operator : Which department? Caller : Tap water. * * * Operator : How are you spelling that? Caller : With letters. * * * Caller : I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please. Operator : Do you have his name? Caller : No, but he has a dog named Ben. * * * Caller : The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please. Operator : You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers? * * * On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.